Lather, rinse, repeat.

School no.

• Me: What the fuck do you care, you have school no tomorrow.
• Lauren: I've had school no for the past three days.

• Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
• Monitor: No prob, boss.
• Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
• Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
• Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
• Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
• Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
• Mouse: Of course.
• Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
• Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
• Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
• Printer: No.
• Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
• Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
• Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
• Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
• Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
• Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
• Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
• Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
• Computer: You are not out of in-
• Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
• Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
• Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
• Computer: Just do it, damn it!
• Monitor: Yes sir.
• Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
• Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
• Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
• Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
• Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
• Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
• Computer: No. He did this to himself.

The United States of America on college education

• Student: I'm not going to go to college because I don't want to go into debt.
• USA: YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU'RE GOING TO AMOUNT TO NOTHING YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG. YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY TAXES ARE SO HIGH.
• Student: I'm just going to attend a small community college instead.
• USA: HAHAHA YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO GET INTO A GOOD UNIVERSITY. ENJOY YOUR MCDONALD'S DIPLOMA.
• Student: I attended a four year university and received a diploma in a field I am interested in. Now I am $50,000+ in debt.
• USA: YOU DUMBASS. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN CHOOSE A USEFUL MAJOR EITHER. GOD PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK.